Action speaks louder than words.
But what if kita tak faham apa yang dia cuba buat?
That’s what happened antara aku dengan Syakir.
Sometimes breakfast together. Jalan pergi dan balik kelas sama-sama walaupun kami berlainan DK. Study kat library sama-sama.
And pernah keluar outing sama-sama.
“ Awak ke mana?” Aku tanya dia.
“ Hah? Apa?” Dia macam gelabah.
“ Tak. Awak pergi mana? Saya keluar dari toilet awak tak ada pun,” Aku tanya dalam nada biasa.
“ Tak delah. Pergi usha barang kat kedai tu kejap,” Dia tunjuk satu kedai ala-ala Body Gloves or B.U.M Equipment. Lebih kurang.
Aku tak tanya lagi dah lepas tu.
“ Awak, nah.”
He handed something bila sampai pintu pagar Kolej M.
“ Apa ni?” Aku sambut plastik warna merah berisi something soft.
Dia blushing. Tunduk. Exposed his dimples. Just like always. “ Just a simple present. Hope you like it.”
Aku senyum walaupun still rasa pelik dengan tindakan dia ni. “ Thanks.”
Dia senyum balik sambil garu kepala dia.
“ What did he gave you?” Dalia called sebaik sahaja aku sampai bilik. Roomies aku semua tak ada. Outing jugak kot. “ Bra?”
“ Har har har,” Aku pura-pura gelak. Aku masukkan tangan aku and keluarkan hadiah Syakir. Aku melopong.
“ Hei, Reni. Aku call kau bukan nak dengar kau senyap okay.”
“ It’s a shawl.”
“ Apa dia?” Dalia tanya kuat.
“ Syakir’s present. A shawl.” Aku tengok shawl tu. Cantik. Pattern dia simple and colour dia lembut.
“ Oookkay...” Dalia sebut panjang-panjang. “ It’s a shawl. Not a ring.”
“ Hei, Dalia. Kau pernah bagi aku shawl ke yang kau cakap macam tu?” Aku provoke dia.
Dalia ketawa. “ Okay, darl. So how is it?”
“ Cantik. Pandai dia pilih.” Aku senyum sorang-sorang.
“ Bukan shawl. The relationship. You and Syakir.”
“ Erm, fine?”
“ Hei, you guys dah declare ke?”
Dahi berkerut. “ Declare apa pulak?”
“ Dah kau cakap fine. Kiranya you guys dah couple la?”
Aku diam. Mengeluh. “ Declare ke benda? Confess pun belum.”
“ What??? Kau cakap kau selalu jalan dengan dia, study dengan dia bagai. Then what are you guys? “
“ Err...”
“ Jangan cakap teman tapi mesra. Seriously I hate that term. There’s no such thing as teman tapi mesra. And...”
“ I know. Teman tapi mesra is just an escape towards ‘ I like you but I don’t want to be with you’ kan?” Aku dah boleh hafal term Dalia.
“ Reni?”
“ Hmm..” Aku tak tahu apa lagi nak cakap.
“ You like him don’t you?”
Aku tersenyum tawar. “ Nak mengaku memanglah senang.”
“ Then cakaplah kat dia.” Dalia cakap mudah.
“ Macam mana nak cakap? Pergi jumpa dia terus cakap ‘ I like you’?” Aku balas balik. Impossible.
“Taklah. Kau tulis surat cinta kat dia and sign it with your name. Lepas tu kau pass kat dia through his bestie. And the next thing you know the whole college knew that you like him.”
Aku sengih. “ Is that what happened to you?”
“ We’re talking about you. Don’t change the subject.”
Aku tergelak,but seruis balik.“ Tak nak ah.”
“ Kenapa???” Dalia tanya macam benda ni berat sangat.
Diam lagi.
“ Takut kena reject eh?” Mulut Dalia memang tak ada insurans. But aku dah biasa. Benda yang dia cakap betul.
“ Okay, darl. Just tell him. At least kau tau jugak perasaan dia kat kau macam mana. Better daripada kau perasan sorang-sorang kan?”
Aku ketuk speaker phone. Dalia ketawa.
“ Nak ketuk aku lah tu.”
Malam tu tak ada message from Syakir, just a few messages from my group. Aku pun tak text Syakir. Tak bagi komen apa pasal shawl tu. Still thinking about apa yang aku and Dalia cakapkan petang tadi.
Sampailah esok pagi. Kuliah. Urghhh...
Aku tak cukup tidur semalam. Still thinking about him and what Dalia said. Teruk betul. Kalau fikir pasal tutorial Kimia yang aku tak boleh jawab tu lain jugak.
Aku jalan sorang-sorang hari ni. Jalan pun lengang lagi.
“ Reni!” Dayum.
Aku dengar footsteps semakin dekat. Tak mampu nak mengelak.
“ Hai.” Aku cuba senyum seikhlas mungkin.
“ Kenapa tak tunggu saya?”
Aku tengok jam. “ It’s 7.15. Saya ingat awak tak nak pergi lagi sebab awal lagi.”
Dia nampak serius. “ And you don’t text me last night.”
“ Kredit habis.”
“ Awak pakai postpaid kan?”
Caught. Aku mengeluh.
“ The shawl. Cantik. Thanks.”
Dia senyum tawar.
“Exactly...” Serentak. Dia suruh aku cakap dulu.
Aku rasa aku tak mampu nak tahan lagi.
“ The truth is that...”
Ada student lintas sebelah.
“ I like the colour of that shawl. Boleh pakai raya.”
Mata dia berkelip sekali. Bebola mata bergerak-gerak.
And what I said just now????????????????????
“ Nak pergi kelas. Bye.”
Aku terus berlari. He didn’t call my name. Aku rasa dia pelik tengok aku berperangai pelik.
Dan memalukan.
Kat DK tak ada orang. Aku mumbling sorang-sorang.
Bleep. Message from Syakir.
‘ I think you wanted to tell me some other thing than the shawl. Waiting for you to tell me. :)’
Aku tension tengok message dia.
Aku tarik nafas and terus reply. ‘ I just wanna say I like you.’
Tak tunggu lama, aku off handphone.
No comments:
Post a Comment